A glimpse into the future, Part I.

[Angry Ninja]

For the past few days, I have been at the side of the just and powerful Lord thy God. He has enlightened me to the events that will transpire, and I am humbled by his wisdom. I have warnings for many of you, and news of good tidings for others. I shall give you a glimpse of the future, and you shall know the power of the Lord. I, being the most pure and powerful user of the Kuji-kiri, have been chosen by God himself to deliver to you these prophecies.

1. In the future, President Giuliani will discover that he has prostate cancer, forcing him to resign. His Vice-President, Condoleezza Rice becomes not only the first woman President, but also the second black President. Fried Chicken, Watermelon, and Malt Liquor becomes the traditional Thanksgiving Meal. Hell yeah, yo!

2. An Islamic fundamentalist attempts to blow up a theater during the showing of Toy Story 3. His attempt was foiled by ushers that believed him to be a person attempting to pirate the movie with a portable camera. After being discovered, the terrorist ran through the dark theater and tripped down the stadium stairs, breaking his neck and killing himself instantly.

3. The New Orleans Saints win the Super Bowl over the San Diego Chargers.

4. Joodah is left in a coma after he attempts to remove the resistors to his vacuum cleaner, thinking that he could make it more powerful and that it would more effectively suck up the loose change lying around his house. He now eats kosher corn flakes through a straw.

5. user001 dies due to a self-inflicted hacksaw wound to the head. After being interviewed by the police, his boyfriend said "he kept on going on about how he was going to get that stupid hamster." An autopsy confirmed that several objects were present in his rectum, including two harmonicas, a watch, and three mice. Surprisingly, they also found a hamster in his head.

6. The United States launches a devastating air war against Iran that continues on for 178 days. The U.S. only loses 15 aircraft, with only 6 fatalities. This airwar introduces the new UCAV, railguns, and EMP weapons to the battlefield, allowing the U.S. to obtain total air superiority within the first 72 hours. The Iranians give an unconditional surrender.

7. Wandidar becomes a Republican Congressman, but resigns after several terms due to a scandal involving two hookers and a tire iron. After an ethics hearing, Wandihar is exonerated. He then gets a job with Fox News as a political commentator and occasional replacement for Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly.

8. perfect dies from a burst aneurysm. His boyfriend indicated that perfect became remarkably upset because someone capitalized his name, thereby killing him when his aneurysm burst. Poor bastard.

9. Rourke dies in the bathroom. While realizing he forgot to restock the toilet paper, he gets up while his pants are still around his ankles in order to walk over to the pantry to get some toilet paper. He trips, falls, and bashes his head against the sink, killing him instantly. His excited boyfriend was complaining that Rourke had not flushed the toilet, prompting the police to have debates on the stupidity of mankind.

10. Threadkiller wins the lottery by playing the following numbers 15-12-24-31-42-49 and 25. His newly discovered millions amazes his family, for they had no idea that he could be an even bigger prick.

I shall deliver more of my prophecy later. The Angry Ninja must rest.

[Zedar]

6. The United States launches a devastating air war against Iran that continues on for 178 days. The U.S. only loses 15 aircraft, with only 6 fatalities. This airwar introduces the new UCAV, railguns, and EMP weapons to the battlefield, allowing the U.S. to obtain total air superiority within the first 72 hours. The Iranians give an unconditional surrender.


Is that before or after they nuke the crap outta the US? And yes, make no mistake, that's exactly what would happen.

[Angry Ninja]

Is that before or after they nuke the crap outta the US? And yes, make no mistake, that's exactly what would happen.

My vision did not indicate whether it is before of after. Some Visions are hazy at times, while others are crystal clear. In fact, I was fortunate enough to get a video of Threadkiller after he purchased a boat with his lottery winnings. It is amazing what God and Sony can do with technology when they work together.

Threadkiller in the future. (http://www.dumpalink.com/videos/Flare_Gun_Headshot-l3bh.html)

Now, regarding those stupid Iranians, I can tell you that they have no capability to deliver any nuclear weapon to U.S. soil. Very few nations have that ability, and they would have far too much to lose if they even tried. Now, the Iranians have the ability to send missles towards Joodah's homeland, and the stupid President of Iran said that he would do it too, but they probably won't, unless Israel hits them first. If Israel hits them hard enough, which is unlikely, Iran won't be able to respond (at least not effectively, or directly, depending on how hard Israel hits them), although Hezbollah and other Shiite groups will most likely respond.

Keep in mind that Iran can never defeat the United States in a conventional sense. In fact, no other country has that ability - period. The only chance that Iran and others have against the U.S. is exploiting our own media to weaken our resolve, and resorting to unconventional warfare techniques that do not abide by any honorable code of warfare to which most developed civilized nations adhere. In 1988, the Iranians learned the hard way that when they pretend to be a World Power, they get their asses handed to them in a heart beat. The U.S. pretty much sunk the entire Iranian Navy (or put the ships in sinking condition) in 1 day, and now our technology is better. Their technology hasn't improved much at all.

[Rourke]

Do i have to die pooping?

[Atoyota]

theadkiller LOL :D

[Rourke]

theadkiller LOL :D

I thought that guy was dead. Kinda kills the movie Dead Calm now though doesn't it?

[perfect]

I didn't go out so badly, actually.

Did I finish my Theory of Squares, first, though?

[Atoyota]

I thought that guy was dead. Kinda kills the movie Dead Calm now though doesn't it?

aye... or maybe he just has a really hard head :eek:

[Euphoria]

I nominate you for Devil and I don't get a future prediction? Damn you to hell gypsy!! You are no friend of mine!

[ThreadKiller]

10. Threadkiller wins the lottery by playing the following numbers 15-12-24-31-42-49 and 25. His newly discovered millions amazes his family, for they had no idea that he could be an even bigger prick.


don't need the lottery dude, God and I must be best buds. :D

[Angry Ninja]

Do i have to die pooping?

God told me that it is possible to change the future, but unlikely. I suggest that you go to Costco and buy a couple thousand rolls of Scott Tissue, or just pull your pants up like your Gaelic ancestors when you are done leaving your foul present for society. Either you can do that, or simply stop taking shits. I don't recommend that, mainly because doing that, in combination with the mantasik love that your boyfriend delivers to you, will be disastrous, at least for you, and to a lesser degree your fag lover.

[Angry Ninja]

I thought that guy was dead. Kinda kills the movie Dead Calm now though doesn't it?

Perhaps Threadkiller has a plate in his skull. Maybe he tried getting to the hamster in his head as well. It is amazing what some people will do so that they can shove things in their asses. Ask user001.

[Angry Ninja]

I didn't go out so badly, actually.

Did I finish my Theory of Squares, first, though?

When God takes me up to heaven again for coffee and cheetos, I will ask him.

[Angry Ninja]

I nominate you for Devil and I don't get a future prediction? Damn you to hell gypsy!! You are no friend of mine!

I am no gypsy! Gypsies are foul creatures with small dicks that drink urine and emanate the acrid odor of dead jews. I am the Angry Ninja, True Master of the Kuji-kiri, not some shit eating Gypsy.

You must be patient. I know that it is difficult for you to realize that "PART 1" implies "PART 2" or more, but you will have to trust me. Just because you can't figure things out easily doesn't mean you have to be impatient.

[Angry Ninja]

don't need the lottery dude, God and I must be best buds. :D

If I were you, I would stay away from flare guns. Also, after you win your millions, your gay entourage will take advantage of you. Don't get excited. They aren't taking advantage of you the way you want. They will leach off your winnings, causing you to feel like Sally Struthers, but for fags. It isn't a good thing.

[perfect]

God told me that it is possible to change the future, but unlikely. I suggest that you go to Costco and buy a couple thousand rolls of Scott Tissue, or just pull your pants up like your Gaelic ancestors when you are done leaving your foul present for society. Either you can do that, or simply stop taking shits. I don't recommend that, mainly because doing that, in combination with the mantasik love that your boyfriend delivers to you, will be disastrous, at least for you, and to a lesser degree your fag lover.

<looks around>

[Angry Ninja]

The Angry Ninja will not be here to answer your questions about the future, so don't bother, at least until later this evening. I am going to watch the movie "300" on IMAX, and then go to Disneyland.

Now, don't get all excited. I know that many of you cock craving retards believe that the Angry Ninja is only watching "300" in order to drool over those skimpy leather man-panties that the Spartans are wearing. Nothing can be further than the truth. I am in it for slaughter, so don't get your expectations up just because you think the Angry Ninja will now play for your team. It isn't going to happen.

Also, don't get all excited because I am going to the gayest place in the ****ing world, Disneyland. I have to go, and it isn't my ****ing choice, so don't go about thinking that you ****ers now have a friend in your dicked up GLBT alliance. You can take your rainbows, and shove them in your ass. I am pretty sure that you fags have already tried that, so let me keep this simple - **** OFF BITCHES!.

Have a nice day!:)

[Angry Ninja]

<looks around>

Congratulations! You once again have won the "Attention to Detail" award.

/bow.

[Riggin]

Congratulations! You once again have won the "Attention to Detail" award.

/bow.

How many is that now perfect? Three. You, sir, are a master among grasshoppers....:D

-Riggin

[perfect]

How many is that now perfect? Three. You, sir, are a master among grasshoppers....:D

-Riggin

Thank you, thank you. This she's being 'forced' to go to Disneyland because of family or her boyfriend?

[Riggin]

Thank you, thank you. This she's being 'forced' to go to Disneyland because of family or her boyfriend?

Actually, I have a feeling that the Beav has another alternate personality. I mean $7.50/hr to dress up in a Mickey Mouse costume will just about cover the payments on the trailer, wouldn't you say?

-Riggin

[perfect]

Actually, I have a feeling that the Beav has another alternate personality. I mean $7.50/hr to dress up in a Mickey Mouse costume will just about cover the payments on the trailer, wouldn't you say?

-Riggin

Nah, she'd be gone more, if that was the case. Though it would explain the anger and latent homosexuality fixation.

[Euphoria]

I am no gypsy! Gypsies are foul creatures with small dicks that drink urine and emanate the acrid odor of dead jews. I am the Angry Ninja, True Master of the Kuji-kiri, not some shit eating Gypsy.

You must be patient. I know that it is difficult for you to realize that "PART 1" implies "PART 2" or more, but you will have to trust me. Just because you can't figure things out easily doesn't mean you have to be impatient.

I still say you are a Gypsy...Gypsy. You and your voodoo magixssss!!!

[Euphoria]

btw perfect I'm putting you in charge of putting people in charge next week alas I'll be in a nice warm place for a week!

Thats right folks I'm visiting the devil (and not Angry ninja or Volcano Troll) for a week :) nothing but smooth sailing from here!

[perfect]

btw perfect I'm putting you in charge of putting people in charge next week alas I'll be in a nice warm place for a week!

Thats right folks I'm visiting the devil (and not Angry ninja or Volcano Troll) for a week :) nothing but smooth sailing from here!

Um...you are coming here?

[Euphoria]

uh sure....

[ThreadKiller]

Um...you are coming here?

woot, Vegas Road Trip 2007!!!!

[perfect]

woot, Vegas Road Trip 2007!!!!

Isn't the Fan Faire here this year?

[wanelorm]

Thank you again, Angry Ninja, for making my life worth living. Mebbe some day my wife will actually come here to see why i'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.. but prolly not. She likes to stand there with a dumbfounded look on her face, then pretend to do some housework.

Silly woman.. brains are for men :P "now go make me a sandwich"

[Kathas]

Now, don't get all excited. I know that many of you cock craving retards believe that the Angry Ninja is only watching "300" in order to drool over those skimpy leather man-panties that the Spartans are wearing. Nothing can be further than the truth. I am in it for slaughter, so don't get your expectations up just because you think the Angry Ninja will now play for your team. It isn't going to happen.

Those "man-panties" are simply an extra special reason for "it" to go to see the movie.

[perfect]

Those "man-panties" are simply an extra special reason for "it" to go to see the movie.

It? Who or what is 'it'?

[ThreadKiller]

It? Who or what is 'it'?

he/she means she, the Beav is a woman.

[perfect]

he/she means she, the Beav is a woman.

Right, just checking before I said something.

[user001]

I am going to the gayest place in the ****ing world, Disneyland. I have to go, and it isn't my ****ing choice


like anyone believes it not he-shes choice, you know its ALL he-shes choice. gayest place on earth, and her know perverse obsession with rodents. she is in HEAVEN.


here is what lies in the furture for gay ninja.

NEWPAPER HEADLINES:

Kid found death with Mickey Mouse's head in ass, attempting long time fanasty.

RUN MICKEY, RUN.

[Zarha]

I have finally come to terms with my brain and the entity known as Angry Ninja.

This is a very intelligent person with:

1. A creative if somewhat singleminded approach to humor
2. A solid grasp on the nuances of message board humor and typed dialogue.
3. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.
4. Good understanding of politics and world affairs.
5. Total disregard for political correctness (I applaud this wholeheartedly).
6. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.
7. An effective, if simplistic approach at gathering an audience.
8. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.

Without further data (which I have not been able to glean yet, since I only visit the volcano now and then), I am not yet convinced of the gender of "The Beav".

[perfect]

I have finally come to terms with my brain and the entity known as Angry Ninja.

This is a very intelligent person with:

1. A creative if somewhat singleminded approach to humor
2. A solid grasp on the nuances of message board humor and typed dialogue.
3. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.
4. Good understanding of politics and world affairs.
5. Total disregard for political correctness (I applaud this wholeheartedly).
6. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.
7. An effective, if simplistic approach at gathering an audience.
8. An unnatural fixation on male homosexuality.

Without further data (which I have not been able to glean yet, since I only visit the volcano now and then), I am not yet convinced of the gender of "The Beav".

She an alt of a well known and respected member of the community created to blow off steam, bring humour, and give the trolls something to do.

[Atoyota]

She an alt of a well known and respected member of the community created to blow off steam, bring humour, and give the trolls something to do.

she eh?

[perfect]

she eh?

Picked that up, didja', Clouseau?

[Atoyota]

Picked that up, didja', Clouseau?

yup I'm smert!

[perfect]

yup I'm smert!

<grin> Touche.

[Atoyota]

<grin> Touche.

is that french?

[perfect]

is that french?

No. It's a mispelling of 'touchy'.

[ThreadKiller]

No. It's a mispelling of 'touchy'.

good, I thought Mysa was back.

[Atoyota]

No. It's a mispelling of 'touchy'.

but... but... that's just not right!

[perfect]

good, I thought Mysa was back.

Vous avez eu un problème avec Mysa ?

[ThreadKiller]

Vous avez eu un problème avec Mysa ?

Oui.

[Atoyota]

Oui.

parley voo silverplate?

[ThreadKiller]

parley voo silverplate?

born jower madamoisal.

[Atoyota]

born jower madamoisal.

mercy buttercups

[Trystan365]

Ok, I just hafta know why Labyrrinth would post as Jerry Mathers having a tantrum?

Although, I have to say that this post by our Angy Ninjer is, without a doubt, the most well thought out and cojent piece of work I've seen, to date.

Oh, and who was the first black President? If Condy was the second, I mean. Inquiring salad tossers want to know...

[Wandidar]

7. Wandidar becomes a Republican Congressman, but resigns after several terms due to a scandal involving two hookers and a tire iron. After an ethics hearing, Wandihar is exonerated. He then gets a job with Fox News as a political commentator and occasional replacement for Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly.


Only two?

[perfect]

Ok, I just hafta know why Labyrrinth would post as Jerry Mathers having a tantrum?

Although, I have to say that this post by our Angy Ninjer is, without a doubt, the most well thought out and cojent piece of work I've seen, to date.

Oh, and who was the first black President? If Condy was the second, I mean. Inquiring salad tossers want to know...

*I* never said Angry Ninja was Labyrrinth.

[user001]

that wasnt nice what you said about me in your other post. so you wanted it, here it is.

to clarify my argument that you are a gay. it has to do with you not having father in your home as a child. you were hurt that you didn't have a daddy there, and wanted men to love you. it didnt help that this also caused a unnatural identification with your mom, and left with you with a longing to be loved by a man like your father should of loved your mother. this also caused you excel, better yet over achieve in whatever you put your mind to. trying to show your mommy your were not a piece of shit like your dad. you have to try and be the best at everything to compensate for not having a daddy. no matter what you did/do is not good enough. no matter what you do in life it will never be good enough. you have a need to feel better than others no matter what it is. whether it be school, sports, or baiting/flaming people on the Internet to try and make yourself feel "superior". you will take out your own deep seeded hatred for you father on yourself, your children, anyone you can. when it comes to your kids, whether it's pushing them to excel in academics, sports or whatever they do in life it will not be good enough for you. you will be a piece of shit, because that is all you knew of your father, in your mind he was a piece of shit. subconsciously you will act accordingly, thats beside the point though.

all this ninja crap is also from you not having a father and being gay. in someways you are still that hurt lil boy, you have to feel like a big strong man, and try to make others think the same. you workout alot, were on the football team. (rubbed up against alot of men, there didnt ya. hated wrestling because that was too gay for you). you have to act like someone that would never be gay, you have to take it further than that. you try and show the world how "not gay" you are, by showing the world how masculine you are (the i have not 1 but 3 wives crap), by working out alot doing other so called manly things. you hope by passing judgment and bashing gays/gayness at every chance you get, that this some how helps prove that you are not a gay, and dont have gay fantasies, wrong. you have gay thoughts all the time as we can all tell. you most probably already had a gay encounter and that just adds to your hatred of being gay, and knowing you think about gayness ALOT. you are not fooling anyone but yourself, just give in already. you dont know what it means to be a "MAN" cause you never had anyone to show you, awww poor baby. thats why you are the jackhole you are. so sooner or later you will give in totally to your gay thoughts and fantasies, when you find the right man, sicko. until then you will try and overpower people with your intelligence, belittle your own gay culture, and just be an all around asshole. almost makes me feel sorry for you....NOT.
hope i didnt hit a nerve.

do you still want me to explain my conscious disregard for the stupid redundancy of captiols, periods, and why i find english grammar stupid (for the lack of a better word). or do you just want me to comment on the various short comings of the english language altogether?(if you want to defend Grammar, this is a argeument you will lose) because i really find no need to use proper grammar on the internet to prove anything to you or any fools on the net, but i will if you really, really, want me to. only if you promise to stop having fantasies about me (as your haterd for me rises, so will your preverse gay fantasies. try and keep that in check).
kinda funny for someone you say finds 3rd grade grammar, and pre-school math challenging. that they can see through your facade, tell you why you are truely gay and why you personify gayness on others with a vengeance. wow guess that just shows how much gayness extrudes from you.

you have a sickness. there is no medicane for what you have, the only cure is seppuku. have a nice life :D

[perfect]

...***TLDR***...

Where are the chicks making out?

[Vengeful]

Now Recruiting: Cult of the Angry Ninja