Some Ideas to make VG TRULY 3rd Gen

[Branlin]

I've seen allot of suggestions posted on these forums regarding making SV the truly 3rd generation game it claimed to be.

I've also seen allot of debate regarding where the line between second and 3rd gen starts and ends.

The whole notion of 3rd gen VS 2nd gen interests me, so this morning I spent a good 20 second going over old threads on the encyclopedia of Vanguard we lovingly refer to as Silky Venom. After that I sniffed some glue and thought about what I had learned and I came to one conclusion.

Sex. It's all about the sex.

Now I know it seems extreme but hear me out before jumping to conclusions:


1 - Sex sells. It's the oldest rule in advertising.

2 - These games are Sausage fests. So many of the female characters in this game are played by men that I now call everyone "Dood" regardless. The other day I got a tell from a female type looking toon that said "You are one sexy lookin wolf! You and me anytime baby just send be a tell." To which I replied. "I will not be a party to you twisted game of bum darts!"

To which I added "Not that there's anything wrong with that.

3 - Adding sex to the game would open an entire new sphere of play.

4 - Over 80% of the player base has never had sexual relations and it makes the baby Jebus cry.

5 - Sausage Fest.

6 - Sausage Fest.

7 - Grinding, it's what's for dinner.


But Branlin? Won't adding out-and-out sex to the game make women feel that Vanguard objectifies them?

YES!

That's why we take it a step further and give the sex some meaning! That's right. Babies.

Midwives could be a whole new class. Players like Hanzo would finally feel useful and stop filling this site with venomous nonsense.

Hardcore female players could have their children while in the midst of a raid. Babies would follow their mother or father and could even be used as fodder to take the first couple of hits from high level agro while mother and father live to make romance explosions another day.

I'm in the early phases of planning right now but I expect to have some artwork and quest suggestions for the devs shortly.


In the meantime, here are a couple of ideas for midwives tools.

Any chance this could make it in for the expansion?





On second thought... direct X10 childbirth......




Forget it.

[Aegorian]

Midwives could be a whole new class. Players like Hanzo would finally feel useful and stop filling this site with venomous nonsense.

You made this entire thread just to take a shot at Hanzo, didnt you? :)

[Branlin]

You made this entire thread just to take a shot at Hanzo, didnt you? :)

Ahahahaha!

Now THAT would almost be a worthy reason but no. There's entire thread devoted to him in the volcano.


I'm trying to put forward a truly revolutionary idea here. Can't you people see past the Name to the genius within?

[Jacosta]

They have it and it's called Red Light Center.

[Branlin]

They have it and it's called Red Light Center.

WHERE?

[Kelenvor]

What is a sausage fest? Is it like a carnival with beer and sausages?

[Jacosta]

WHERE?

Do a search or is google broken for you?

[Branlin]

Do a search or is google broken for you?

What's google? Is that one of the nerves behind the cornea?

[Jacosta]

What's google? Is that one of the nerves behind the cornea?

/facepalm

[Branlin]

What is a sausage fest? Is it like a carnival with beer and sausages?

That is exactly what it is!

[fcwedd]

I've seen allot of suggestions posted on these forums regarding making SV the truly 3rd generation game it claimed to be.

I've also seen allot of debate regarding where the line between second and 3rd gen starts and ends.

The whole notion of 3rd gen VS 2nd gen interests me, so this morning I spent a good 20 second going over old threads on the encyclopedia of Vanguard we lovingly refer to as Silky Venom. After that I sniffed some glue and thought about what I had learned and I came to one conclusion.

Sex. It's all about the sex.

Now I know it seems extreme but hear me out before jumping to conclusions:


1 - Sex sells. It's the oldest rule in advertising.

2 - These games are Sausage fests. So many of the female characters in this game are played by men that I now call everyone "Dood" regardless. The other day I got a tell from a female type looking toon that said "You are one sexy lookin wolf! You and me anytime baby just send be a tell." To which I replied. "I will not be a party to you twisted game of bum darts!"

To which I added "Not that there's anything wrong with that.

3 - Adding sex to the game would open an entire new sphere of play.

4 - Over 80% of the player base has never had sexual relations and it makes the baby Jebus cry.

5 - Sausage Fest.

6 - Sausage Fest.

7 - Grinding, it's what's for dinner.


But Branlin? Won't adding out-and-out sex to the game make women feel that Vanguard objectifies them?

YES!

That's why we take it a step further and give the sex some meaning! That's right. Babies.

Midwives could be a whole new class. Players like Hanzo would finally feel useful and stop filling this site with venomous nonsense.

Hardcore female players could have their children while in the midst of a raid. Babies would follow their mother or father and could even be used as fodder to take the first couple of hits from high level agro while mother and father live to make romance explosions another day.

I'm in the early phases of planning right now but I expect to have some artwork and quest suggestions for the devs shortly.


In the meantime, here are a couple of ideas for midwives tools.

Any chance this could make it in for the expansion?





On second thought... direct X10 childbirth......




Forget it.

Can we form raid parties?

[Branlin]

Can we form raid parties?

YES!

I would suggest a Roman themed continent for this purpose.

[Branlin]

Of course PVP would have to be redefined to mean 'Playa VS Playa'

[Aegorian]

Of course PVP would have to be redefined to mean 'Playa VS Playa'

haha... can we get skills like "Upside your Head" and "Pimp Slap"? :)

[Branlin]

haha... can we get skills like "Upside your Head" and "Pimp Slap"? :)

Pimp Slap sounds like an Opener.


Oh man. See now EVERTHING takes on a new meaning.... opener... chain... finisher...

[Aegorian]

Pimp Slap sounds like an Opener.


Oh man. See now EVERTHING takes on a new meaning.... opener... chain... finisher...

and this all fits in nicely with crafting. For example, as a blacksmith i get the following skills: "Quick Polish" and "Quick Insertion"

occassionally i have to deal with the "Mangled Tool" complication tho... that's a real heartbreaker :o

[DruidFire]

Thanks for the morning laugh! :D

You had me goin' until about the 3rd paragraph, no jokes. :D

[Branlin]

and this all fits in nicely with crafting. For example, as a blacksmith i get the following skills: "Quick Polish" and "Quick Insertion"

occassionally i have to deal with the "Mangled Tool" complication tho... that's a real heartbreaker :o

Mangled Tool makes me cross my legs.

They are crossed right now.

Also, I'm cringing. I may never craft again now.

[Morbob]

occassionally i have to deal with the "Mangled Tool" complication tho... that's a real heartbreaker :o

It's worse when you have to use a stoker to fix it :confused:

[Jacosta]

No, what's worse is having a mangled tool coupled with a muscle spasm.... :eek:

[Jeff]

I've seen allot of suggestions posted on these forums regarding making SV the truly 3rd generation game it claimed to be.

I've also seen allot of debate regarding where the line between second and 3rd gen starts and ends.

The whole notion of 3rd gen VS 2nd gen interests me, so this morning I spent a good 20 second going over old threads on the encyclopedia of Vanguard we lovingly refer to as Silky Venom. After that I sniffed some glue and thought about what I had learned and I came to one conclusion.

Sex. It's all about the sex.

Now I know it seems extreme but hear me out before jumping to conclusions:


1 - Sex sells. It's the oldest rule in advertising.

2 - These games are Sausage fests. So many of the female characters in this game are played by men that I now call everyone "Dood" regardless. The other day I got a tell from a female type looking toon that said "You are one sexy lookin wolf! You and me anytime baby just send be a tell." To which I replied. "I will not be a party to you twisted game of bum darts!"

To which I added "Not that there's anything wrong with that.

3 - Adding sex to the game would open an entire new sphere of play.

4 - Over 80% of the player base has never had sexual relations and it makes the baby Jebus cry.

5 - Sausage Fest.

6 - Sausage Fest.

7 - Grinding, it's what's for dinner.


But Branlin? Won't adding out-and-out sex to the game make women feel that Vanguard objectifies them?

YES!

That's why we take it a step further and give the sex some meaning! That's right. Babies.

Midwives could be a whole new class. Players like Hanzo would finally feel useful and stop filling this site with venomous nonsense.

Hardcore female players could have their children while in the midst of a raid. Babies would follow their mother or father and could even be used as fodder to take the first couple of hits from high level agro while mother and father live to make romance explosions another day.

I'm in the early phases of planning right now but I expect to have some artwork and quest suggestions for the devs shortly.


In the meantime, here are a couple of ideas for midwives tools.

Any chance this could make it in for the expansion?





On second thought... direct X10 childbirth......




Forget it.

So how's that virginity treating you?

[Branlin]

So how's that virginity treating you?

Not bad.

You?

[Dragon-RD]

Lmao its topics like this that keep me coming back to silkyvenom time and time again.

[timor]

as long as they introduce a customisable phallus size and shape you're on a winner. I want to be a 3 legged gnome.

[Morbob]

as long as they introduce a customisable phallus size and shape you're on a winner. I want to be a 3 legged gnome.

Aye, but they'll only offer 4 different types of foreskin.

[Melios]

What is a sausage fest? Is it like a carnival with beer and sausages?

It's when there's a group of strapping men, generally utilized for the entertainment of women/gay men/bisexuals.