Labyrrinth
11-01-2005, 01:45 PM
763 In our continuing series, How Gaming Changed My Life (http://www.silkyvenom.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1559), I’d like to introduce you to Tiomet. Tiomet’s story is unique in a variety of ways. From her age, suffering through a disability, to meeting her soul mate and making a complete lifestyle change, hers is an inspiring story which would not have had the positive outcome it did, had it not been for gaming and the surrounding community.
Tiomet
I am an older player, in my fifties and for several years, in fact since MUD1 have been an avid gamer. My original reason for gaming was a lack of time to socialise, which sounds odd but I was a company executive and my so called socialising was done in the name of business. Online games allowed me to be anonymous, let my hair down, slay orcs instead of customers!
Contemporary gaming, MMORPGs, allow interactions across all levels. My peers online are generally substantially younger and I never lie about my age. By the time I feel comfortable with my group and am asked my age the response I get is usually positive. I truly believe that the platform allows communication across the age gap that could not exist otherwise and leads to more empathy between the generations. I have been told by younger online friends that gaming has increased their understanding and tolerance of their parents and allowed them to be more open and communicative. For me, it has been illuminating. In the business world there is little contact with young people and I was cut off. I enjoy my interaction with young minds, it has taught me to be more receptive and adventurous and to relearn how wonderful it is to be curious about everything and think laterally again.
Also, a few years back with health and work pressures I had an emotional breakdown. For months I was solitary, deserted by work colleagues and supposed friends. I limped back into society virtually and learned to be within a community again. Sometimes virtual society can be cruel but the beauty is the off switch so if you are vulnerable to can back out when it reaches danger point but return to build again, and again, and again – at your own pace. And sometimes there is nurturing, the wonderful feeling when tells roll in from people pleased to see you and wishing to share game time. At low points this can be very reassuring.
More profoundly it was in a multiplayer world that I met my partner, to whom I am now married. This was unexpected and I was reserved but after five years together I think it is the most ideal and wonderful way for me to have met my final, intended life-long partner. Because we are both gamers we are ad idem. Thing is that the lack of physical presence can work against or for a relationship. Because there is no adverse body language it is possible to talk very deeply and get to know a partner at a meaningful level (I am not talking about cybering) that may be obstructed by social mores if face to face. Becoming fond of someone online is not conditional upon visuals and you do not lose out on a wonderful relationship because some preconditioning has dictated you prefer a face, hair or body type. Fact is my partner is gorgeous but totally someone I would have said many years ago was not my type!
I have a lot of spare time now that will shortly be consumed in new work. I left the high roller executive world, though I could have returned once I was `well again' but I learned a different, more real set of values and preferences from being online with a society that communicates in a more genuine way. I let the big house and car go and live in happy disarray with computers, cats, my partner and less pressure and I am happier. I can only see something positive in being an oldie online!
If you have an inspiring story on how gaming changed your life, and you'd like to see us feature it, feel free to email me at Laby@silkyvenom.com !
Tiomet
I am an older player, in my fifties and for several years, in fact since MUD1 have been an avid gamer. My original reason for gaming was a lack of time to socialise, which sounds odd but I was a company executive and my so called socialising was done in the name of business. Online games allowed me to be anonymous, let my hair down, slay orcs instead of customers!
Contemporary gaming, MMORPGs, allow interactions across all levels. My peers online are generally substantially younger and I never lie about my age. By the time I feel comfortable with my group and am asked my age the response I get is usually positive. I truly believe that the platform allows communication across the age gap that could not exist otherwise and leads to more empathy between the generations. I have been told by younger online friends that gaming has increased their understanding and tolerance of their parents and allowed them to be more open and communicative. For me, it has been illuminating. In the business world there is little contact with young people and I was cut off. I enjoy my interaction with young minds, it has taught me to be more receptive and adventurous and to relearn how wonderful it is to be curious about everything and think laterally again.
Also, a few years back with health and work pressures I had an emotional breakdown. For months I was solitary, deserted by work colleagues and supposed friends. I limped back into society virtually and learned to be within a community again. Sometimes virtual society can be cruel but the beauty is the off switch so if you are vulnerable to can back out when it reaches danger point but return to build again, and again, and again – at your own pace. And sometimes there is nurturing, the wonderful feeling when tells roll in from people pleased to see you and wishing to share game time. At low points this can be very reassuring.
More profoundly it was in a multiplayer world that I met my partner, to whom I am now married. This was unexpected and I was reserved but after five years together I think it is the most ideal and wonderful way for me to have met my final, intended life-long partner. Because we are both gamers we are ad idem. Thing is that the lack of physical presence can work against or for a relationship. Because there is no adverse body language it is possible to talk very deeply and get to know a partner at a meaningful level (I am not talking about cybering) that may be obstructed by social mores if face to face. Becoming fond of someone online is not conditional upon visuals and you do not lose out on a wonderful relationship because some preconditioning has dictated you prefer a face, hair or body type. Fact is my partner is gorgeous but totally someone I would have said many years ago was not my type!
I have a lot of spare time now that will shortly be consumed in new work. I left the high roller executive world, though I could have returned once I was `well again' but I learned a different, more real set of values and preferences from being online with a society that communicates in a more genuine way. I let the big house and car go and live in happy disarray with computers, cats, my partner and less pressure and I am happier. I can only see something positive in being an oldie online!
If you have an inspiring story on how gaming changed your life, and you'd like to see us feature it, feel free to email me at Laby@silkyvenom.com !