What to do, when to do it?

[Sicca]

Ok, so i have been thinking about my routines and life (if you can call it that) and im kinda depressed on how its turning out.

A little about myself, i work at a pizza resturant, im a delivery boy or so to speak, only work 3 - 4 days a week 6 - 7 hours or so, and i hardly have any friends, but i dont really have a problem socially, i love to talk to people and discuss things, and occasionally i like to call some old high school friends and watch a movie or something, but thats like once every other month.

I really love sitting at my pc and playing games, listening to music, but lately i have cancelled all of my mmorpgs, and just playing counterstrike, but only for an hour each session, it gets old really fast for me.

Ok, so i am at work, and all i can think about, is getting home to my pc, and still when i get home, i go play css for an hour than turn it off and go watch tv, and again bored. And the days im not working i sit all day on the pc, reading forums and maybe playing css for an hour in betweens, feeling really bored.

Now i know it would be easy to say, hey man go out, meet some people, get a social life and all, but i've tryed it so many times, i just think the "going to clubs/partys" isen't my thing, and im not that really fond of getting drunk, although i enjoy beer on and off. I get bored real fast, hanging around in clubs and such, and it can be fun meeting people that you met in the past or something, but its not "that" exciting, as i would want more of that.

So the main problem i have, would be, "how to get me do/think about something else rather than sitting infront of my pc" i can admit i have sometimes called in sick, when i was feeling perfectly well, just so i can be with my dear pc, its almost like its my gf, heh kinda sad i know.

I used to play soccer when i was younger, but lost the intrest after high school, nothing on tv that really is something i "have" to see, so any sport is kinda like boring to me, we have a dog here, but i just think its "boring" to take it for a walk, hehe not saying he doesen't get his walks, its just never me who does it, so basically what would you recommend?

PS. sorry about the grammar, tas's all. :D

[Jaymend]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if your life is as you described, you might think about talking to a psychologist. I don't mean this in a mean-spirited or sarcastic manner. My significant other actually sees a psychologist, and sometimes you just need to talk with someone and get things figured out in your head. Hope you start feeling better soon.

[Sicca]

Guess what, your not the first one to suggest that, so i guess i should start looking for someone i could talk to :P

[rabb1t]

you might think about talking to a psychologist.

*adjusts Associates and Bachelors degrees in Psychology a touch*
*places "Advice $0.05" sign up*

You suffer from mild depression and a feeling of dispair and hopleesness, Charlie Brown. You need to head in a new direction, something which gives you long-term hope. Vanguard could do this, but I think you may want to think about something more permanently long-term. Consider taking a few classes at a local college, get a degree going. Get some doors open to new circles of friends that could actually open up long-term connections.

[rabb1t]

*taps on board profile*

Birthday:
05-10-1985

Big clue.

[Lord_Vyper]

Consider taking a few classes at a local college, get a degree going. Get some doors open to new circles of friends that could actually open up long-term connections.

Combine love of PC with learning... learn Linux, C++, Maya, Photoshop, PHP, or even Win2k3 administration. If you're going to spend time in front of a PC, make it productive time that can potentially land you bigger/better jobs.

[Sicca]

Thanks for the suggestions guys, although one thing i diden't get was what my age has to do it with, just wondering?

Yeah, past time i never really seemed to be able to finish anything i started, school/long term jobs and the likes, but i guess i need to pull myself together.

Sorry if i posted this thread here, if someone is offended i apologize whole heartly.

[rabb1t]

It is the last big 'achievement' ascribed to you by simply getting older. Now you are 'an adult' and you will have to 'earn' everything yourself.

In your description you mentioned nothing of future goals you, at least sub-consciously if not consciously, are pointing out that you feel as if you effectively have no goals. There is therefore nothing to 'look forward to' either ascribed by simply being, or achieved as you currently aren't working towards anything. There is no 'life momentum' remaining; you've come to a 'stop'.

Knowing games only form temporary social connections, they can't possibly be anything more than a temporary reconnection to society, not a permanent one, and as they are online, they are unlikely to have a truly deeper level of connectivity. Your subconscious knows it is your only current outlet, thus you are motivated to try, yet after trying you are rapidly reminded of it's temporary nature and again become depressed.

It is (likely) just a mild depression / ennui about life and our current situation due to the lack of connectivity to others on any deeper level. You, as you yourself pointed out, have to take steps to correct that, or simply accept it and move on.

'course that's a snap analysis. To really get at the issues, as mentioned, you'd have to get some real therapy going or do a lot of introspection.

[Razorwire]

My advice, set a small goal. Acheive it, like read a book on a subject (not just reading for fun) and keep at until you are done. Once you have acheived that one thing set one more small thing to do and keep working on it that way. One thing at a time.

I think the age thing is valid because I know that I have been where you are, my way forward was I met the right girl when I was 23 and I had a reason to stop f cking around.

I know someone mentioned College, sign up for 1 course at your local JC and finish it. Education is never wasted time.

[Ramier]

You really need a change. Taking a class will be good, but you really need a new job. That pizza thing is such a high school job. Travel, experiance new things. Find something with a future, that challanges you. If you find a real "grown up" job you will find yourself meeting new people. The kind of people you would never meet now. That will help you learn more about yourself, and maybe give you an idea of the direction you need to go in.

You are young and lost. The answers are not going to come to you. You have to go out and get them yourself. Good luck.

[smooth1]

There are sooo many social events out there. Even if you think arts is boring go to a gallery. Like music? Take in a show. You need a social infusion. Sign up to be a elderly companion. In the day some of these folks just sit and wish for company. I did it for like 3 months and it was great. I learned so much from them. Also there is a ton of volunteer work. I made some really cool friends just doing that.

The computer is a great thing but as we all know it can easily be all consuming. I go through phases myself. I am on the the pc hard for 2-3 months then I ease it back.

I also translated spanish to english for a local church that had all these folks in need and where poor. Use your imagination. Kindness is always returned sooner or later ten fold.

[Kullall]

Do what I do, get a nice BBQ grill, some chicken, and some beer. Grill the chicken slowly for three hours, drink until it burns, then go to bed hungry. Also, invite friends over and play poker with them while the chicken is cooking, maybe one of them will remember to take it off the heat and you'll get to eat something.

[Seasiu Laitya]

My advice, set a small goal. Acheive it, like read a book on a subject (not just reading for fun) and keep at until you are done. Once you have acheived that one thing set one more small thing to do and keep working on it that way. One thing at a time.

I think the age thing is valid because I know that I have been where you are, my way forward was I met the right girl when I was 23 and I had a reason to stop f cking around.

I know someone mentioned College, sign up for 1 course at your local JC and finish it. Education is never wasted time.
That's some really good advice there. It's amazing how accomplishing a single small goal - like painting a fence - can make you feel really good.

My problem is I don't set myself enough of them ;)

[rabb1t]

like painting a fence

AAaaaaauuup. ... Doooooowwwnn. ... AAaaaaauuup. ... Doooooowwwnn. ...

[Sicca]

Wash on, wash off

I guess its not so bad after all, im moving this weekend, starting fresh, going to try and look for some place where i can get an education, or a job of some kind, just something that will focus my attention.

Plus im giving away my pc ( dont worry, its old and i need a new one ).

So im actually looking forward to it, might start back in school after the summer, we'll have to see :)

Just wish me the best, and pray it all works out :P

Thx for your responses, was good to see someone actually taking a minute to read, and so sorry if i upset anyone ^^

[Skarlath]

Cool stuff, Sicca. Good luck with it all! :D

[Trevis]

Ok, so i have been thinking about my routines and life (if you can call it that) and im kinda depressed on how its turning out.

A little about myself, i work at a pizza resturant, im a delivery boy or so to speak, only work 3 - 4 days a week 6 - 7 hours or so, and i hardly have any friends, but i dont really have a problem socially, i love to talk to people and discuss things, and occasionally i like to call some old high school friends and watch a movie or something, but thats like once every other month.

I really love sitting at my pc and playing games, listening to music, but lately i have cancelled all of my mmorpgs, and just playing counterstrike, but only for an hour each session, it gets old really fast for me.

Ok, so i am at work, and all i can think about, is getting home to my pc, and still when i get home, i go play css for an hour than turn it off and go watch tv, and again bored. And the days im not working i sit all day on the pc, reading forums and maybe playing css for an hour in betweens, feeling really bored.

Now i know it would be easy to say, hey man go out, meet some people, get a social life and all, but i've tryed it so many times, i just think the "going to clubs/partys" isen't my thing, and im not that really fond of getting drunk, although i enjoy beer on and off. I get bored real fast, hanging around in clubs and such, and it can be fun meeting people that you met in the past or something, but its not "that" exciting, as i would want more of that.

So the main problem i have, would be, "how to get me do/think about something else rather than sitting infront of my pc" i can admit i have sometimes called in sick, when i was feeling perfectly well, just so i can be with my dear pc, its almost like its my gf, heh kinda sad i know.

I used to play soccer when i was younger, but lost the intrest after high school, nothing on tv that really is something i "have" to see, so any sport is kinda like boring to me, we have a dog here, but i just think its "boring" to take it for a walk, hehe not saying he doesen't get his walks, its just never me who does it, so basically what would you recommend?

PS. sorry about the grammar, tas's all. :D
I'm about 26, I feel young and I want to have the mindset of a 22 yrs old full of potential and energy.

I don't think I can give you excellent advice. But I'll try to tell you what I have learned.

At 20, do you have a career/work goal ?
Do you take full responsibility for every decisions/actions you make for yourself ?

Please give it serious thoughts, and do a personal/career profile test. You don't want to be unhappy at your job and feel stuck when you are too old to change.

The test should include current personal interest, personal skills and knowledge and education. The next step should be what skills & knowledge you want to get/learn.

For example, you are skilled and knowledgeable at organising & managing people. Your interest is creative writing and designing art. You want to be skillful with working at PC software/hardware.

Based on that a job that suits you could be art design for magazine/newspaper/advertising business or desk top publishing/printing assistant.

At 21, are you happy with your long term job/career and social life ?

Both needs to be at least acceptable. Job with no long-term satisfaction and money, makes me really unhappy. Social life should be about developing your interst/hobby/networking and help/finding friends that cares about you.

At 22, are you happy with your love life ?



At 23, What is your dream ? Have you experienced things you always talked about ? Are you happy with your current life and few years down the track.

I'll stop here. Before I sound like a "know it all".

I am 100% sure when I was 20 I wouldn't "get it" to any advice the 26 yrs old me have to say. The 20 yrs old me have no direction in life, unhappy but couldn't change the way I think/live.

I sometimes feel that at critical moments in my life if I had close and wise/mature friends about my age, they could offer good pep talk and help me thinking clearly.


Good Luck

[Nubb]

Combine love of PC with learning... learn Linux, C++, Maya, Photoshop, PHP, or even Win2k3 administration. If you're going to spend time in front of a PC, make it productive time that can potentially land you bigger/better jobs.

I fully agree with LV here. If you do love your computer (I love mine! mmm oooh hardware come to daddy... oooh .. ahem...

Anywho, make it productive -- even if it's a hobbist type of productivity.

One thing I do is "play" an "mmog" called SecondLife (www.secondlife.com). Where the entire world is player created. There's plenty of various ways to be creative. Designing textures, avatars, objects, and scripting (I'm heavily into scripting -- which is the simplistic code language to make such things as cars/planes/automated selling devices/clocks/radios (there's streaming audio/video)/toys/gadgets etc).

Another cool thing, as you learn you can actually sell things to others (the learning curve is fairly high, but fun). The game money can be legally traded for *real money* (just last month I cashed in a bit of my game money and had $171 within a few hours on my account. That's US dollars -- for "playing" a "game". I'm currently worth about $1400, and I'm a slacker! There is at least one person that made around $160,000 last year. $160k of REAL money (game-land baron/real estate... a very small and highly controlled niche, those that saw the potential of it and took early advantage/investment are now reaping the rewards in real hard cash!).

Anywho, just a suggestion. The best part is you can play for $9.95 -- forever (you can't own land, but you certainly can LEARN and see if it's something you might enjoy). I should also say there are opportunities in this game. There are many incredibly talented folks. Many of those have been hired by real companies due to what they've done in game. Even the game company (Linden Labs) hires folks to work-at-home, sort of like Guides, but these are paid positions (I believe at around $11/hr to start, you're basically the low-end CR in-game rep). Another potential opportunity anyway, and again it's fun!

Course there is a downside to the game. Again, fairly steep learning curve. Also there's a lot of wierdness, as might be expected (sex clubs, and crap). Although you can pretty much avoid anything you don't care to see/be involved with.

Then, back to Lord Vyper's suggestion, pick up some viable skills. Coding/graphics design, etc. All those fall into place with SecondLife (if you try that out), or just fall into place as a hobby -- and quite potentially as a good base for landing a techie job. Plus -- it's intellectually challenging, your brain will function!

Okie enough typing!

edit
I will add, in SL anything you create is your Intellectual Property. YOUR copyright, YOUR goods -- per the TOS. Hence you CAN sell it, it DOES have value (heck one guy that made a game in SL sold the rights to an actual game company (game is called Tringo, or maybe it's SLingo, I forget the exact name) anywho just shows another possiblity that awaits the creative.)
Thanks,
Nubb

[Demmic]

Exercise is also huge.
"Preliminary results from a major study on depression conducted at Duke University demonstrate that acute doses of physical activity--rather than sustained regular exercise--may be the most effective way to reduce feelings of depression, anger and fatigue. The study is part of a larger, five-year study comparing different treatments for depression: a four-month exercise program, drug therapy or a combination of exercise and medication." http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0675/is_3_18/ai_62342798

If you can I would suggest not only an "acute does of physical activity" but if geography and weather permit exercise outside, fresh air, sunshine, vitamin D :D (for all us gamers that never see the light of day) It will help clear your head, and make life seem lots more manageable.
Getting a dog is also a huge recommendation for sustaining long term mood elevation. You have loyal companionship, have more than just a small reason to get outside (walking the dog etc.) and are responsible for something more than yourself. Changes in enviroment (which by your post you have already started on) can also be very helpful.

Good luck, Godspeed.