The following is a conversation between Dr. Mauro Di Pasquale from the University of Toronto, and your humble Angry Ninja:
AN - Doctor, is Global Warming happening?
MD - Yes, but it isn't man made.
AN - If Global Warming isn't man-made, why are all sorts of losers bitching and whining as if the world is going to end tomorrow?
MD - Two reasons. One, they have dicks in their ears (undeniable scientific fact). Two, they are misinterpreting data.
AN - I agree, it is clearly an undeniable scientific fact that they have dicks in their ears, but what data are they misinterpreting?
MD - As you know, honorable and superior Ninja, the Sun is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very hot. It is so hot, if you were to step on it, you would damage your feet. It is that hot. Really, really, really, really hot. These Global Warming alarmists simply don't like hot weather. I suspect that it is because the dicks in their ears prevent the release of heat from their heads, therefore cooking their brains. In other words, their sinful behavior is causing their brains to be cooked, so they support a dumb bastard like Al Gore. Did you know he failed out of Religion school?! Religion school! How the hell do you fail out of Religion school?! The man is clearly a dumb ass.
AN - Not only is he a dumb ass, he got beat in 2000 by G.W. Bush!
MD- ROFLMAO! PWND! LOL!
AN - LOL!
MD - As far as data is concerned, the dumb ass Global Warming alarmists have it backwards. They think that carbon dioxide causes global warming, whereas the evidence doesn't suggest that conclusion. The evidence only suggests a correlation between carbon dioxide and temperature, and correlation is not causation. In fact, the evidence from the studies cited by Gore in his stupid film actually suggest that carbon dioxide increases in the atmosphere may actually be the end result of global warming, as opposed to the cause. Still, correlation is not causation, but those idiots that promote the doom and gloom scenarios act as if correlation IS causation, and therefore start bitching about my sweet ride and how much gas it uses.
AN - What kind of ride do you have?
MD - I have a tricked out 1970 GTO.
AN - Nice! Have you run over any porch monkeys lately?
MD - Not lately. I am assuming that black folks like yourself do their best to avoid getting run over. They run really fast.
AN - True dat, holmes. So, how much carbon dioxide is in the atmosphere?
MD - Believe it or not, the atmosphere only has .038 percent of its composition as Carbon Dioxide, and humans do contribute to this amount, but only around 3 to 5 percent, projected of course, of the .038 percent. In other words, 99.9981 percent of the atmosphere is natural, assuming of course for the sake of argument that ALL human activity that adds carbon dioxide only adds un-natural carbon dioxide. As you know, not all CO2 additions to the atmosphere is unnatural, so the amount of damaging CO2 from humans is even less so.
AN - One last question? Did the Jews contribute to Global Warming?
MD - Of course. They threw themselves into ovens, which caused their bodies to release large amounts of CO2. It is their fault. And they killed Christ.
AN - Thank you for your time and effort.
MD - You are most welcome, awesome and terrifying Ninja!
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