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Old 03-11-2006, 02:15 AM   #1
Ishmah
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
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Default Fire Sorcerer.

Ahgram

At dusk Ishmah finally made his way through the Mercantile Gate and entered the city of Ahgram. Some traders were packing up for the day whilst others, with the onset of the cool night air, seemed to be just starting. As he made his way through the hustle and bustle rich aromas reached him of suckling pig and rare spices.

He continued until he found a low wall to rest his feet.

Lowering himself gently he observed the activities around him.
City workers moved about lighting oil lamps. The bazaar seemed to dance with shadows as the cool breeze, scented with the dry, desert smells, passed gently through the palm fronds.

Ishmah had never felt this at peace with the world.

He gazed up to his left at the flame flickering from a nearby oil lamp. The flame seemed to be talking to him...communicating. The element of fire.

Deep within him felt forces surged. Fire! Such a pure element. Such power! Such total power!

Slowly at first he caressed the flame from where he sat. He let his core being expand until the flames danced at the edges of his being.

He and the flame danced...in the darkness of his heart.

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Groupwork

"PULL!!" The Gnome leader G'Jar (or something like that...gnomes tend to mumble...and this pickup group had only just formed)yelled. Obediently or more likely thoughtlessly, the Barbarian tank rushed forward to engage the Gwartak sentry.

"Wait 'til the tank has the sentry under control."

Ishmah stood at the back of the trio and twiddled his thumbs.
He carefully watched the sentry but it was obvious that this little brute had no magic tricks up his sleeve. G'Jar healed the barbarian faster than the sentry could dish out any punishment.

"Start your slow damage spells Ishmah!"

Ishmah stood there fuming.

'What the hell would you know about damage shorty healer?' he thought to himself.

'How many years of training have you done in the art of elemental control? Have you any idea the power I have?'

The vein in Ishmah's temple began to throb. Years of practice until he became one with the powers of the universe...and this...this Gnome was telling him how to fight?

Ishmah cupped his hands together and a ball of fire began to form between his palms. Slowly at first, the ball of fire grew, its brilliant light turning the shadows from the sun in opposite directions.

He had spent days fighting the Fire Master atop the hill to master this technique....and a GNOME was telling him what to do.

The vein throbbed faster and Ishmah's dark complexion gained reddish tinges like a sunset on a stormy evening.

G'Jar froze mid spell, mouth moving yet nothing coming out as the wooshing fire sound silenced even the clanging of the barbarian's and sentry's swords.

The fireball rolled forward, sucking the happless sentry into its frenzied need for oxygen, then dropping the charred and sizzling corpse only a few yards further.

Ishmah shrugged at the pair and departed.

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Old 03-14-2006, 02:16 AM   #2
Raya
 
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These are a couple of fun vignettes. In the first part, I like how you use the senses to bring the reader into the story. Many emerging writers just use how things look to describe their story...you used taste and smell to good effect ("...rich aromas reached him of suckling pig and rare spices..."). This one actually brought saliva into my mouth. There is a lot of feeling, as well as sight and sound, in your first vignette and it set the stage nicely.

The second one was classic, in that, for me anyhow, it related how every player in the world sometimes feels when someone, with no knowledge of the facts, tells them how to play their class. I loved the ending. Up yours, G'jar!
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