[Raya]

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[Skarlath]

As good as ever - thanks Raya!

Now and again my characters might get a bit flirty with female characters, but this only ever happens if I am 100% sure the other player is alright with it. Never with unknown characters. Back in SWG, my character became good friends with a Twi'lek girl, and we had some flirting from time to time. I was always careful with what was said, and when, because I was concious that female gamers must get 'special treatment' all too often. As your article showed, some gamers enjoyed being hit on, but many disliked it. With a good helping of tact, flirting in MMORPGs is harmless.

Thanks again Raya.

[Raya]

One of the message boards where some gals participated in the survey was Force of Valor (an EQ guild). Out of courtesy I go back to each message board to post when a new article is out so that the participants can, if they wish, see "their name in lights." The husband (Atslah) of one of the particpants (Artameus) had a particularly interesting story to tell about this part of the survey and gave me permission to share it with you all.

Originally Posted by Atslah on the Force of Valor message board

Another good article Raya!

It is interesting to read the articles and some of the responses you got are very funny.

As Arty mentioned in your quote, I do get hit on while playing my female DE necro. I usually play along and if not inappropriate, try to flirt back between the howls of laughter Arty and I have reading what they typed.

Only once did it ever go too far...
Playing on Tunare, you may have encountered some of the RP guilds. They write up stories and then have the 2 guilds play it out online. An EQ acquaintance was asked to play a 'captured' person while the other guild came out to try and rescue them..... So I was completely taken aback when I received a tell from an anon character asking my female DE if I would roleplay for 15k pp. After a few tells back and forth he finally said, You know, roleplay nasty like. Or something very similar. That was about 6 months pre EQ2. My jaw hit the floor, I was completely caught off guard. Once I recovered, I had to get up off the floor from laughing so hard....thinking -Dude! if you only KNEW that I AM a guy!! I never heard from that char again.. (And if you were wondering.. yes, I turned him down.)

Needless to say, that was the only unwanted and truly inappropriate encounter I have experienced in my 5+ years of playing. But Taeandra, my necro, will often flirt back still. A good round of laughter helps at the end of a rough day at work. And yes, I am flirted with by unsuspecting guy characters fairly often. The most humorous are the guildmates who haven't figured out the guild manager yet where we list who everybody's main character is.

Keep up the good work Raya!

-Ats

[Eowenna]

Moderators: Please feel free to delete this post, if it is in any way unacceptable. Thank you for your time.

*Please note* That there are multiple male attitudes toward females... the following commentary primarily focuses on those who are uncivilized, as that pertains most to the article at hand. I am *in no way* implying that uncivilized behavior is a masculine gender failing: merely that those who do display such traits are annoying.

Regarding the article: "Hit On or Hit Back?"

I got "hit on" in my chosen MMORPG a *lot* formerly, but less now -- because I seldom associate with strangers. Once I established a group of friends who respect me as a person (regardless of gender), then I had much less need to have dealings with strangers.

I keep doing /feedback requesting a "less transparency option" on female attire. That way those who *want* to flirt can send a clear message with their attire, and those who do *not* want such attention can highlight that point by revealing less [pixelized] skin on their character(s).

I'm a student of human history, so I know that a huge problem historically is that *some* males look at females only though a veil of hormones. Most Females quickly get tired of that mentality -- we are not "paper plates" for them to use to satisfy their appetites, and then discard. There are indications that this particular problem may be the foundation for all women's rights movements, just as it is frequently the foundation for abuse.

We are not mere toys, nor are we merely a means to gain offspring. We are people, just as human as males.

There has been a recent move away from intellectual pursuits back toward sensualism, especially among adolescents. Porn has been legalized, and those with hyperactive hormones are no longer restraining themselves to more civilized behavior in the way that previous generations did.

How do I know this? Aside from other means, I have a... rather prounounced figure... in real life. I get "hit on" constantly, because of that, almost every time I step outside my apartment, for the last 25 years. And no, I never had any surgical enhancements. This is just how puberty reshaped my body. =\

I never flirt. Ever. Yet appproximately 50% of the males I encounter never look up at my face. I don't wear tight or revealing clothing, either. But there seems to be no way to stop the ones with that mentality from behaving in an uncivilized manner.

I'm way beyond tired of having to field other peoples' hormonal overdoses. I was annoyed by the scads of it that I encountered previously in game, because one reason that I play games is to get time *away* from RL problems (like sexual harassment).

SOE does respond to harassment complaints, by the way. They deal privately with the offender, and don't inform the complainer what they did. I learned partly because one nuisance had friends who complained to me about the results of my /report on said nuisance's uncivilized behavior. Apparently SOE decided that they needed some time off from gameplay to re-consider their attitude. /grin

[Raya]

Thanks for your post, Eowenna. I understand your frustration, having been amply endowed myself and frequently "hit on" in RL, at least in my "younger" years

It wasn't as much of a problem for me in game, especially once I switched from my near naked half elf druid (even when she was in full armor) to my much more thoroughly covered high elf cleric. The clinching of this character's respectful treatment came from, as you say, grouping with friends and guildies for the most part.

This article was in no way meant to be a male-bashing one. It would be foolish on my part to even consider it, when there are so many great guys in the world. However, there are also many males who are thoughtless in their hormonal and predatory instincts, in game and out, and this does indeed often create an unhappy situation for female gamers. It was the main reason I included that question in the survey. I was astonished at how well most of the ladies dealt with the situation, however, and my heart went out to those who had trouble dealing with it.

I am hoping that this series of articles will provide insight for males into the workings of the female mind in playing MMORPGs...and for gals to know they are not alone and that there are solutions.

[Eowenna]

I was not attempting to bash males either! Only protesting the uncivilized behavior that *some* of them practice.

I firmly believe that all human beings are capable of greatness, regardless of race, gender, culture or creed. This is one reason that I get frustrated when any person chooses instead to behave... well... rather more like an animal "in heat" than like a rational, sentient being.

I'm hoping that, by pointing out how rude this is, any who do such things may reconsider their approach.

If the offenders ever fully grasp that it does *not* impress ladies to be dehumanized, *maybe* more of them will stop doing it.

[Monsoon Rhayne]

As a seriuos RP'er I love to try out differnt things, and one of them...if I think it fits the character I'm kind of feeling out...is playing a Female.

As a female character I have been hit on, and for the most part I just RP how I think my character would react, if I'm married in game I act that way and if I get hit on I tell them I'm married, if they persist I get my husband to talk to them. If the character is single and it's her job to interact with people (SWG-Entertainer, I have a male and female entertainer) I flirt back...once or twice it has gotten very very disturbing, but I try to ignore it or say something if they persist.

As a male character I RP them as well, my Bothan Ranger (Monsoon Rhayne) was very respectfull to everyone, especially the ladies...always polite. My Human Smuggler on the other hand was quite the ladies man. When I play these games...I love to RP (I have married RL men and RL ladies) makes no differnce to me...as I'm almost always in character unless in Guild Chat. But I am not so bold as some when I flirt...I just say hello, or if they're an Entertainer I might say Hey Sexy...then I wait to see what response I get and go from there.

These games are for everyones enjoyment and people should think of that before they act sometimes.

[Raya]

Monsoon, very interesting take on role-playing. I have to admit I role-play only as long as it suits me in the game but when the going gets tough I revert to plain old me, the character behind the toon.

I think it takes a certain type of person to be able to role-play as successfully as it sounds like you have done. Fascinating, as a matter of fact. It almost sounds like you might have a penchant for acting. Have you ever tried it? I have heard that the best thing an actor can do is put himself in the shoes of the character he is portraying...and that smacks of role-playing to me.

[Monsoon Rhayne]

Originally Posted by Raya

Fascinating, as a matter of fact. It almost sounds like you might have a penchant for acting. Have you ever tried it? I have heard that the best thing an actor can do is put himself in the shoes of the character he is portraying...and that smacks of role-playing to me.

Well I haven't tried it, you are right a good actor knows how to get into the character, I can do that very well (lots of practice) but I suck at the second most important...memorization...lol.