It seems that, for the most part, the participants regarded their main game as a cornucopia of mixed blessings. A few pointed out the downside of playing too much. However, all 110 women were voluble on this question, and the number one answer was not surprising. A whopping 82% (90) of the women polled cited making friends and the social aspect of the game was a big part of the effect their main game (all but five indicated EQ as their main game). Kiddanesh said it well: "The reason I play EQ to this day is because of the friends I've made in it. I have a best friend in St. Louis and good friends all over the country now. I've met people I admire and consider role models as well (Myschief, Lizabelle, Arshiss) for their kindness, leadership, and just the way they present themselves. I don't dismiss these qualities just because they are demonstrated in a game. I also met my fiancee through EQ. =D (He plays a female DE warrior.<grin>)" However, the answers didn't stop there. Many of the participants went on to explain in detail how the game actually affected them, in many areas of their life. (Note: I counted every point in a participant's answer as contributing to the overall, and some women cited four or five effects--so don't try to make the total add up to 110.)
The next highest percentage was the one where women indicated that they prized the joy/fun/excitement of their main game. Of the 110 participants, 57% (63) indicated this as part of the effect on them from playing the game. Here's what Sinine had to say: "It has brought all those things. Joy in achievement when raiding, or completing a complex quest. Joy in seeing my friends that I have gained all over the world grow in their characters AND their real lives. Heartache to see 'that one special item' slip away. Heartache to see the older zones, the original content zones, completely empty now. Mith Marr is a very old server. Our population is 'all grown up'. It makes me sad to not see the young everywhere I go." Almost half of the women (53) indicated that they had experienced heartache of one kind or another. Many of them expressed surprise that feelings in an MMORPG are the same as feelings outside of the game, but they couldn't doubt what they were experiencing. Sinine expressed part of it in the quote above.
However, the participants made it plain that they enjoyed answering this question. It was as though they had been invited to share their innermost thoughts in a safe way, and they really went all out on the answers… some of them I'd never thought about before. Beyba (Leorah), for instance, mentioned about how she had found her participation in her MMORPG to be educational. While her answer comprised only 1% of the total (i.e. 1 person), it made an interesting point: "The game has been very beneficial from the standpoint of social interaction. My husband and I play together and we have developed many online friendships. In many cases we have been able to visit with these players in their hometowns or by attending Fan Faire. I have been pleased to realize that the players who chat online in the game are very much the same in real life. My knowledge of geography, history, and languages has been broadened from the friendships and other contacts I have made by playing Everquest. EQ has given my husband and myself another common interest to share." Not many people will be surprised that the next highest after Heartache was Escape at 20% (22). If anything, I think people thought it would be higher. I have combined this into a two-fold category-i.e. Escape in the positive sense, and Escape in the negative sense. Modestie spoke out for the positive aspect of Escape: "It has given me a chance to escape the real world. Running around and whacking things was a good way for me to relieve stress; while in a good mood, running around buffing and healing the newbies was great fun as well." So did Tarelena: "At first it was a stress reliever. Then I made a few great friends. After work or a long day of taking care of the children I log on and can escape from the daily worries." Imfea alluded to the negative aspect, but felt it was an okay price to pay: "It takes its toll on your life, but I feel it's worth it for the game. Roleplaying on such a large scale is very addictive and quite a lot of fun."
Saraney was delighted with her find: "It's much more than a game to me…I've become so close to so many people, its a way to keep in contact with them... EQ has brought me all three, joys, heartaches, friendships...I've laughed and cried...the good by FAR outnumbers the bad...I met my current boyfriend in EQ…(his char is also female tehee!) his mother also plays with us." A sub-category of Making Friends, Meeting People From Around the World was specifically stated by 13 of the participants (for 12% of the total). It seemed significant to the women who stated it, so I made it a separate category. Kanelda was one of the participants for whom Making Friends Around the World is an important effect: "I started playing just for the fun of the game itself. In time, the fun of the game itself faded, and I stayed for the people. I've had friendship, drama, arguments, even found romance from time to time. It's been a place to meet people and personalities from all over the world, and that's a beautiful thing. My current boyfriend plays, though we aren't on the same server." Many of the women found their game to be inexpensive home entertainment. This plays a large part in the lives of women who have children (or married couples with kids and a small entertainment budget). I rather suspect if this had been one of the questions on its own that more women would have answered. However, this percentage (10% or 11 participants) shows that it was an important consideration to many in answering this question.
Sareana was quite expansive on this question: "Cheap entertainment, a connection with other people/friendships from my living room, while my kids either play near-by or are sleeping upstairs. "I don't live by family right now, and I also have young children. EQ became my cheap evening entertainment. "EQ is better, in my opinion, than getting a babysitter and going out to the bar or a movie. Especially since I'm not too fond of the idea of getting someone to babysit my kids until they're older than they are now." Next up to bat at 9% (10 of the participants) was finding their main game to be a way for them to spend quality time with their hubby/boyfriend/significant other. This is one where I also think more people would have answered, had it explicitly been one of the questions. Tilithien put it well: "It has been a great way for my husband and me to spend time together in the evenings. We have gotten to know a lot of really neat people and count several of them among our RL friends now. Considering how long we have played it has brought some heartache too, of course, loss of friends who moved on or guilds that broke up and all the other drama that comes with hanging out with so many people :)" We have two tied at the next spot of 7 (or 6% of the total): Leadership Opportunities and Engrossing Hobby. Errestelle talked about her Leadership Opportunities: "Erre [name of her character] is a big part of my life, and so is, or was rather, the Elven Guard [name of her guild]. I wrote the laws for the guild, listened to the petitions, quelled the arguments, waged wars, defended our honor…all in all had an amazingly fulfilling time. It has strained some family relationships--my mother doesn't see why we waste the money, but it is not a waste to me to talk to friends online."
Six of the women (or 5% of the total) expressed gratitude for the personal growth they experienced in their main game. Tylikavi was delighted: "EQ has made me a stronger woman. I'm a very shy person...VERY, and this was a way to force me to talk to people and make friends that I love and care for. I've also met, dated, and now engaged to someone I met in EQ. So it has affected me a lot I guess you would say!" Clailya also fell into this category: "Everquest truly did bring me joy for the time it kept me away from doing stupid things. It brought me friendship where I never thought I would find it and many people, through fanfaires, I have met. My heart ached when I finally did quit or my friends quit. Everquest was a huge part of my growing up as a gamer and it made me grow as a person." Another surprising statistic was the 5% of women who found playing their main game helped them in bonding with family and/or friends. Dharla shared this: "Mainly it's an escapist piece, it's something I can do without having to get all stressed out about it. When I first played EQ, things like losing a groupmate due to a fizzled heal (my first character was a shaman) and whatnot were very distressing, and dying and losing levels was pretty awful, which is why I quit for a while--I wasn't really enjoying the game. Ever since I got back into the game I've been taking it a lot more slowly and focusing on becoming the best character I can be, instead of on gaining levels and equipment as fast as possible. So now when I play, it's very relaxing. It's also been a great opportunity for me and my little brother to bond, since we play together." Four categories had four participants (or each 4% of the total): Support Net, Travel/Visitors, Acceptance/Fitting In, and Hurt Friends or Family. It is interesting to note, however, that the positive responses all told do, as Saraney (above) put it, far outweigh the negative. Elizabetha spoke up for Support Net: "I have made many good friends over the years and that I would not trade for anything. I have had a good support net when I needed it…always someone to talk to, even in the middle of the night."
Tannya expressed relief at being able to fit in during her gameplay, more than at her job where she has to watch what she does and say: "All the above and more. I am an upper level manager in RL and have to be somewhat guarded in what I say and do. EQ allows me to say and do more things and show my emotions more freely." Kilauea described the harmful effect her main game had on her: "I've developed and lost many friendships over my 4 years. There was a period of time where I was playing 'way too much' and neglected my family. My divorce also began due to relationships I had online. I moved to Texas for a couple months to live with my in-game husband at the time, and I've also had an on again-off again relationship with my current in-game husband that has brought me both happiness and extreme grief." Two women (2% of the total) credited their main game with giving them inspiration or encouraging their creativity. Breccia's answer covered a lot of the points, but her inspiration/creativity answer was one of the standouts: "The answer, basically, is 'yes.' Through EQ, I have made friends with people in distant places, and lost friends who departed for other guilds, or quit the game. It has provided me with hours of fun, and provided me with some degree of frustration at times. "It has given me inspiration in my writing, and has occasionally distracted me from things I should have been doing instead. "Do I consider the time spent playing it wasted and lost? No. Everyone needs something to enjoy in their lives. I would have found something else to occupy me as I sought distraction and amusement. And EQ is far better than watching television. We (my husband and I) rarely watch TV anymore. We play on the computer instead. Do I feel I'm missing out on anything? No. Because I still have Real Life friends, and Real Life pursuits that don't have anything to do with the game or the computer. "EQ costs a pittance for a month of
playing. It's cheaper than going to the movies for one night.
You can't beat that kind of value, for the sheer enjoyment it
has given us." Down at the 1% level is one woman who touted Weight Loss as one of the effects of her game, while another was delighted at finding an old RL friend through her game. This part of the survey opened up a floodgate
of sharing, and I also suspect that I would have gotten more detailed
answers if I had made the questions more detailed. However, this
cross-section of answers proves, to me anyhow, that women did
not take their participation in the game lightly, nor did they
skim the questions and answer them lightly. The overall tone of
the answers seemed, for the most part, light-hearted and delighted
at finding something that they could do within the restrictions
of money and time, be good at it, and most of all have fun with
friends. And the ladies wanted to share them. Links: - Additional interesting quotes from female players regarding how their main game has affected them can be found here. - Study methodology is outlined here (along with a linked list of the participating forums). - A list of the participating girl gamers is here. - A list of the questions is here. - A short bio of Raya is here. - Link
to Article 1 - Introduction and the Games Girl Gamers Play
Next week, article 4 in this
series, exclusive to Silky Venom, will deal with the fourth question: The answers surprised and sometimes amazed me. I hope you will find them equally interesting. You are invited to comment on this article and state your opinions on the findings. You are also invited to email me at raya@silkyvenom.com for private responses. This is the kind of survey that many people will find intriguing and want to share their thoughts on.
MMORPGs
- FROM THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE © 2004-2005 by Raya |
Tiria
was very matter of fact in accepting the effect her main game
had on her: "It's brought every spectrum of feelings I
can imagine. I've made dozens of meaningful relationships that
will carry on for years. I've had heartache, losing some online
friends to their respective terminal diseases, etc."
The
next highest was somewhat of a surprise to me. Despite my own
situation of marrying a friend on the internet (before EQ), I
hadn't realized that it was a fairly common thing. However, 17
participants (15% of the total) stated that they had met their
hubby, boyfriend or significant other in their main game.
Adreanna
had this to say: "Everquest has brought me friends. I
have a few friendships that I know will last whether or not EQ
ever ends for me. It's also something my husband and I have fun
doing together that doesn't cost us a bundle on babysitting."
Allegretta
enthusiastically described her main game as an great hobby: "EverQuest
is the most engrossing hobby I have ever had. It came into my
life at a time when I needed some distraction, and it certainly
has provided that."
Dunara
talked about both traveling to places and having people from in-game
visit her. She describes it as a wonderful experience: "EQ
has turned out to mean quite a lot to me. I've made many, many
friends in game, which have turned into true 'RL' friendships.
They've attended my wedding, we talk on the phone and visit each
other quite often. One of my closest game-met friends (we call
each other sisters) even made my wedding cake (and OMG was it
beautiful and delicious!) driving it all the way from Dayton,
OH to St. Louis, MO. As a matter of fact, we're having about 20ish
folks from in-game coming to our house/nearby hotel in a couple
of weeks [note this survey was taken in 2004]
for a weekend gathering. The laughter, fun and friendship
the game has brought me have all been invaluable."
Another
2% of the women credited their main game with improving their
marriage. Alliah fits into
three categories, improved marriage being one of them: "Overall,
the game has greatly improved my marriage because we play together,
hurt my friendships because I'm online more than I should be,
and given me the opportunity to meet people from around the world."